From The Desk of The Great Developer

Anyone interested in drilling to the center of the Earth with me? Let the Russians and Canadians fight over the North Pole. I'm sure Santa and his army of tiny toy making elves can put up a fight long enough to give the Canucks and the Russkies a serious run for their money.

While their busy with that, I recommend we drill down down down, as deep as we can go. There's probably millions of barrels of oil and other sweet nutrients down there being guarded by a handful of mole people. As mole people hate the sun, we just have to make sure the hole we drill is big enough to let some UV rays in. Give 'em a tan until they're willing to give us their oil, then maybe we'll let them keep a piece of their underground layer. We've had our trial run with the "native Americans" and got alot of sweet casinos out of it. Can you imagine what blackjack at thousands of feet below sea level is like?

The only thing we've got to worry about are those pesky environmental terrorists. Seriously guys, you give me a good laugh when I see you hugging trees - but don't you know there's money to be made? We all know global warming is the myth Al Gore invented the internet to perpetuate. I mean, seriously - this planet has been around for 6,000 years now. That's a long time. I think it can handle a little smog, waste dumping, and other such necessary byproducts of progress.

Thankfully, those damned hippies have little experience chaining themselves to things underground or in the arctic. Think a community garden in South Central is hard to defend? Just try growing corn hundreds of miles underground. Why don't you guys just stick to working at Whole Foods and whining about some endangered species no one really cares about?

So come one, come all who are interested in the next great wave of resource exploitation. Damn the mole men and those "save the center of the Earth" folks! Let's scoop out what we need and build the biggest damned parking lot the world has ever seen. It'll be a great hub from Walmarts in the U.S. to the sweatshops in China. Think of all the wonderful savings on tariffs! Think of the children - Disneyland Center of the Earth, here I come.