Well.
It's been a couple of years since I've been here. Because, well, I've been trying to kill myself. And I made the big exit. Oh, the GRAND GESTURE. Yes, well, it all seems quite silly now, but back then I was taking things very seriously indeed.
Sometime maybe ... around 2000? Maybe earlier I'm not sure... I stumbled upon PP and its attendant forums.
It's strange, you know, what eventuated from finding PP. Without going into too much detail, I fell in love, I began writing fiction, I got sent all sorts of amazing music, I even ended up with a planeticket to england and a job offer of writing for a magazine out of it.
But then everything sort of... well, I shot myself in the foot. For the last 5 years I've been addicted to hard drugs. And it's been a fucking nightmare. I've had guns held at my head, I've seen friends get murdered, I've lost everything.
And PP was part of that. I came here at one stage and just told everyone they were shit. In the worst possible way.
Now, I've been clean for the best part of a year, with some minor relapses, but I at least haven't been on the needle for over a year.
I wonder if PP is the same... it certainly seems like there are less people around.
If any of you read this post, I'd like to say sorry. Sorry for being such an asshole, and sorry for pulling you into my nightmare, albeit briefly.
I don't know whether me coming back here is a good idea or not, but I'm here now and I guess we'll see what happens. I always found this quite a constructive place and the posters on the forums always made me laugh. Maybe I've fucked my brain over so severely in the last few years that I won't be able to participate the way I used to. I dunno.
Anyway, here I am, for better or worse.
You can set me on fire now.
Welcome back, Herr Johnny.
Good to know the world is still with you in it
or some equally wise sounding sack of poop pies.