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one afternoon in the library:

Patron at a computer : Excuse me. I can't get into my yahoo email.

Librarian : Okay, just enter your user name and password here (pointing at the boxes on the screen).

PAAC : I don't know my password.

LIB : Well that might be a problem.

PAAC : Why? Don't you know it?

LIB : No.

PAAC : Why not, I got it here in the library.

WOKA WOKA WOKA!

An afternoon in the bookstore:

Surly teenager: "Do you have Phantom Of The Opera?"

Me, astonished: "Which version are you looking for"
(after all, this was right after the movie can out and I wanted to know if she was after sheet music, or movie scrapbooks, or whatever other crap they came out with)

Surly teenager: *rolls eyes* "Umm, I'm looking for the novel by Andrew Lloyd Webber"

I then took great pleasure in leading her to the "L" section of fiction, pulling out the book and saying, "Ahh, here is the book you wanted. It's by Gaston Leroux"

~All I ever wanted was to be your spine~

i used to work at a sandwich shop that is like subway only a tad bit better. i had this one lady who I am guessing was from a itty bitty town in indiana tell me she wanted havardi on her turkey sandwich. whatever the fuck that is. i can only imagine its some snobby, rich people condiment or something the way she said it. and i know i am being stereotypical...but she had frosted hair with the big bangs and her hair pulled back in a scrunchy, and acid wash overall shorts on...in other words, i am pretty sure she was from a trailer park.

then another time i had this other lady from some small town in indiana ask me for ice, which we didn't have...because our drinks were in a refrigerator that was as close to freezing as you could get without freezing. she rolled her eyes at me and was all "so much for the BIG city!". I had another guy flip out on me about the no-ice situation and he told me that becuase we didn't have ice it took all the fun out of his dining experience.

Havarti is the biggest scam ever cooked up by the dairy industry. It's fucking Swiss Cheese. Swiss Cheese.

You fucking LIE!!!!
Havarti is the mothahfuckin' Mack Daddy of cheeses. Swiss wishes it could be so smooth, creamy and dee-lishious!

Swiss cheese is a mild cheese for pansies that has holes. Havarti is a mild cheese for pansies that has holes. Therefore Havarti is Swiss cheese. QED.
You wanna talk about the mack daddy of cheeses, get your ass down to the cheese monger and pick up a QP of Taleggio. A delightful bouquet of goat's ass with subtle overtones of vomit... Delicious on a Ritz or smeared on Wonder bread.

Personally, I prefer my cheese to smell more like cheese and less like ass. That said, morbier is the dope shit. It is mild too, so I guess I am a pansy. At least my breath don't smell like a goat's ass.

Actually a cheesse that really smells like straight shit, is Gorgonzola. It's somewhat like a blue cheese, but is aged longer, and has a much more sharper taste and very pungent smell.
When we used to have to cut this at the old resturaunt I worked at, it would smell like somewhat took a diarhea shit all over the whole resturaunt.
If we had the fan going the customers would smell it.

Horrible

Get this cheese shit out of here. Don't get me wrong . . . I love cheese . . . but seriously.

I was just looking over that comment, and that was a little, really disquisting.

Kind of grossed me out reading it again.

Sorry, dude. I thought a definition of Havarti would help us better understand the salient points Watusi was making about the service sector of the economy. I didn't think of the consequences of my words. What I meant to say was: I worked in a record store once. It was weird.

A woman has come in for two weeks now and we have been having the same conversation :

Woman : I need to get into my email.
Me : Okay go to yahoo.com
Woman : I did that.
Me : You have to type it in at the top there in the address bar.
Woman : oh.

(she proceedes to put in the the wrong ID and Password. We then spend the next 45 minutes resetting her password. so she can log in.)

finally today -

Woman: Its not taking my password. What should I do?
Me : Try remembering your password.

I'm a manager at a clothing store and we had a customer from Oregon think they didn't have to pay taxes. It was quite amusing telling her she did.