L0ve1sAmiXedTaP3's blog

So, I have been having the best fucking month in history!!!! It all started with my best "friends" getting really pissed at me because I went down to visit my friend Micah in college. Well, it was college, and let's just say I had a REALLY good time. So when I went to do the responsible thing and tell David and Joel, they got really REALLY mad, mostly Joel, and stopped talking to me. Then, Joel moves away, without telling me at all. This kid was my support system and didn't tell me just because he knew it would hurt me.

Then, none of my friends seem to have time for me anymore, which sucks. So when I had decided the college I wanted to go to, then got the letter telling me I'm not smart enough to go there, no one was there. No one fucking cared.

Do you ever wish that you could just go back in time to the days when life was so much simpler?? When you got naptime, and free snacks and juice. When boys and girls alike had "cooties". And when you wanted to show a girl that you liked her, all you had to do was pull her hair, or throw something at her. When you didn't have to work and your mommy and daddy did everything for you...I know I do. I don't wanna grow up. I wanna go back to pre-school when life was just easier.

That's all for today.

For the first time in 47 days, I can see the sun. I talked to Charlie today, and it seems we have begun to reconcile. It makes me so happy, because I have missed him so much.

So...I got my first school project yesterday. An oral report on an event from one of the decades of the 20th century. We were given a list of topics to choose from, I chose the topic of Home Radio in the 1920s-30s.

My presentation is about the impact it had on that time period and on later decades. I am also supposed to include whether it had an impact on today and whether it could possibly have an impact on the future and how.

This one presentation that I am not dreading, I happen to like this topic, so it doesn't bother me.

Well, it has been 12 days since my fight with Charlie, and despite my numerous pleas for forgiveness, there is no end in sight.

I do not know how much longer I will continue trying to re-capture our friendship, it all just seems like a lost cause. Often in my life however, I have heard people say things that sound like they come out fortune cookies. Things like, "If you love someone, let them go, and if they return to you, you will know it was meant to be..." That's bullshit. If you love someone, you would try your hardest to keep them from leaving in the first place! I tried, and I am still trying, but all my efforts have been in vain.

I may seem like one of those "whiney teenage girls" that our beloved JohnnyBonehead so lovingly mentioned in his blog, but you know what...I really don't care right now.

I know that friends come and go throughout a person's life, and I also know that I should probably get used it, but I don't want to. I don't want to lose my friends anymore. Especially not one as amazing as the friend I just lost.

His name is Charlie. I know of at least 3 blogs I've written about him. He was one of my best friends. But all good things must inevitably come to a bitter end I suppose. The amount of effort you make to keep that friendship, in the end, is never enough. At least that's how it was for me.

As my profile clearly states, I am a big fan of green tea. Recently, while I was making myself some, I began to wonder, "How do other people like theirs??"

Hot or cold??
With milk/creme or without??
With honey or not??
With a slice of lemon or no lemon at all??
Perhaps with crushed mint leaves...
Strong or weak??

These are all things i have been wondering...

Lol I'm done now.

At this very moment, I am watching the 90's classic movie, Empire Records. When I first joined punk planet, an older member lovingly pointed out that I seemed to have been guided in life by a "much older, much lamer" sister. Which is entirely untrue, because I don't have an older sister, I have 2 younger, half sisters. The person s/he was referring to was my aunt. She is 28, and she is my hero. She introduced me to a lot of things, the bands I listen to, and the movies I watch.

This is all relevant I swear lol. I'm not just randomly talking about my aunt and Empire Records, there is a relationship between 2.

I may be in the hospital, but I'm really excited about something. In less than 24 days, I will be 18!!! Yeah most of you probably don't care, but I am excited. So yeah...lol that's it.

So, I am currently in the one place I hate most on this earth. I am in the hospital. I hate everything about them, the way they smell, the stupid walls, all the sounds..everything. I have spent too much time in and out of hospitals it's ridiculous. But all I have to say is I wanna go home.

-clicks heels together- There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home..

Damn, I'm still here. Well at least I tried.