Inspired by Bella's really kickass tattoo which is both badass and really real, I thought I would confess something to you fine people here. I don't have a single tattoo. I always wanted one, but figured the money it would cost to get a decent one could be much better spent on really cool stuff like food and monthly payments to collection agencies. There was even a dude who used to tattoo out of a place where I was living many moons ago, but even back then I thought it would be a pretty bad idea to get a tattoo in a place that had no running water, and where dogshit on the floor would go unnoticed until someone threw down a bedroll and discovered a peculiar squishiness. Well, I've had many brilliant ideas for tats over the years but the only one that sticks with me and I really regret not having gotten was the Land O' Lakes logo across my belly. I think this would have been a bold statement about Native American culture, marketing and consumerism and dairy products in general. I think that I may never get a tattoo, and this saddens me a little. But if any of you have had particularly bad ideas for tats, post 'em here and maybe I'll bite your style and finally go under the needle.
Or don't. See if I care.
Really bad ideas you've had for tattoos that you never got but should have and would have had circumstances been different
tmi
I could never think of anything I wanted tattooed on my body for the rest of my life. But after my partner got pregnant, I was inspired to get a star tattoo on my right arm for the future baby. For the second baby, I got a tattoo of a f-hole on my left arm (sounds odd but I think it looks damn good).
But here is my favorite bad tattoo story: The bass player for one of my old bands decided to get a tattoo of his daughter's face on his arm. So he took a framed photo of his three-month-old daughter to the parlor. Now, pretty much all three-month-old babies are similarly blobbish in their features, so it looks like a generic baby. But my friend, let's call him "Jack," was too busy concentrating on not passing out that he wasn't watching what the tattoo artist was doing. So the dude tattooed the portrait of the baby, as well as the entire frame it was in -- complete with the Noah's Ark in one corner and the little pink letter blocks on the border. Whatever horrible image you can conjure up, I assure you the reality is worse.
"Jack" also got two tattoos of our band's logo several years after we broke up. Yet he still remains a badass.
Bad Tattoos
Not really a really bad tattoo, I don't think? depends on who you ask?
But about 8 years ago, I got an "Against All Authority" tatoo on my left outer leg, Really big! and no I didn't get any graphics or anything, just there trademark AAA in an oval. again really big!, so of course the inevitable making fun, and all kinds of jokes about getting discount automobile coverage and shit.
So a few years ago, in order to try to emphasise what it meant, I got their slogan "WE WON'T SUBMIT in really big letters around it.
People still don't get it.
That's the only tatoo I really wish I hadn't gotten or had gotten it done differently.
tit for tat
When I was 17 I went into a tattoo parlor in UTah with a drawing of a sun I wanted to get on my back. It was 9"x6", multi colored, and in the shape of a cross. Very very crunchy hippie. This was in 1989 so the place was dead... the very first thing the tattoist says to me is,"my favorite place to give a tattoo is on a woman's chest, 'cause you really have to grab her tit." Being afraid that he might try to sodomize me mid-tattoo I mumbled something like "I'll be back" and have never entered a tattoo parlor since... thank god.
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I almost got a ring of stormtroopers around my wrist, dancing with pots and pans and holding hands.
I also really wanted the cover of Rollins Band's Lifetime on my shoulder. But luckily I moved on from my sexually confusslism.
My next tattoo is going to be a road map of iraqi freedom.
Joined: 2007-04-17
Location: USA