So somebody told me that the US is gonna nuke itself tomorrow.

And use it as a justification to nuke Iran. Makes sense and all, but when I tried to research this on the internet, I just kept getting directed to this page and I guess I'm just not crazy enough to figure out what the hell the author is talking about. This makes me kinda sad. I took great pride in my ability to understand and relate to people of a wide variety of levels of sanity.

The one thing that actually is true in the story is that the US Air Force did mistakenly load six nukes onto a B52 and flew 'em across the country last week and tomorrow there's a USAF "stand down" scheduled, I guess just to make sure there are no more planes flying around with the potential to turn any unsuspecting cities into smoldering craters. So if New York City does get blown off the map tomorrow, I'd just like you all to know that I think you're all swell, and that there's a 12 pack of Bush beer buried in the backyard of my childhood home at 2 Farwell Avenue, Melrose, Massachusetts. It's been there for 13 years, but that shit never goes bad. It's yours for the taking.