I hate you Miller Lite

Posts: 1897
Joined: 2006-08-23
Location: CHICAGOISH

You are almost the worst beer ever and you are increasing my level of anxiety and making me eat Tums while I drink you.

If my family didn't look to me as the person to hand off all the family party leftover beer to I would never drink you. You are making me almost dry heave.

But I will drink you until you are gone. Just so I don't have to look at your ugly label in my fridge.

And I'm blaming you on the fact that I have to wake up at 8 a.m. but you will make me sit here and drink you until at least 3 a.m.

Asshole, pig beer.

Seitan

Posts: 1930
Joined: 2006-08-24
Location: Where Will the Little Green Man Be Next?

Ahem

That's Miller-Coors to you.

Wed, 10/17/2007 - 5:20am login or register to post comments

r.john

Posts: 3669
Joined: 2006-08-23
Location: Ohio

%%%%%

The high life is like listening to a sleepy autistic kid tell you about looking up a tranny's skirt.

Scumfuck Failure Club

Wed, 10/17/2007 - 8:23am login or register to post comments

KPunk

Posts: 1616
Joined: 2007-03-07
Location: location location

There aren't beer shits like Miller beer shits.
They are on a different level than, say, PBR beer shits.
Can I get an amen?

www.geneva13.com

Wed, 10/17/2007 - 8:40am login or register to post comments

That Rat Nest B...

Posts: 1897
Joined: 2006-08-23
Location: CHICAGOISH

I think an

ANALysis is needed here. Get it? Oh, lol.

Miller shits are sort of acidic and watery. They're sort of the inverse of say, Newcastle shits, which are dark, thunderous and muddy. Brown ale indeed.

Oh! I think I have plans for tomorrow now.

Maybe I should drink everything from stouts to piss-water Miller and analyze the frequency and consistency (and possibly color and exiting sound) of my bowel movements.

Yeah, because Miller shits are released after sort of a puckered toot...

Wed, 10/17/2007 - 12:13pm login or register to post comments

KungFuFlipperBaby

Posts: 1195
Joined: 2007-04-17
Location: USA

...

Miller Low Life is some pretty explosive stuff and Bud mud is pretty bad, but one beer is so notorious for its stool softening abilities that they named the beer after it's laxative qualities: The Schlitz!

PS this thread is DISGUSTING!

Wed, 10/17/2007 - 12:41pm login or register to post comments

KPunk

Posts: 1616
Joined: 2007-03-07
Location: location location

Amen

I've also noticed that Rolling Rock, when drunk in excessive quantities, produces particularly noxious shits. It must be the corn with which it is made. In fact, next time you drink Rolling Rock out of a CAN, take a sniff of it and tell me it doesn't smell exactly like cream corn.

www.geneva13.com

Wed, 10/17/2007 - 1:04pm login or register to post comments

Alan

Posts: 369
Joined: 2006-12-17
Location: Springfield, MA

"...Bud mud..."

Pie Iesu Domini, Dona eis requiem...BONK!!

Wed, 10/17/2007 - 10:17pm login or register to post comments

Alan

Posts: 369
Joined: 2006-12-17
Location: Springfield, MA

p.s: eeeeeeewwww!!!!

Pie Iesu Domini, Dona eis requiem...BONK!!

Wed, 10/17/2007 - 10:18pm login or register to post comments

KPunk

Posts: 1616
Joined: 2007-03-07
Location: location location

speaking of mud

Old Milwaukee.
Now there are some explosive beer shits, my friends.

And then there is Milwaukee's Best. After massive quanities of the Beast, the sphincter doesn't even try to control the direction of the exit strategy.

P.S. Best thread ever!

www.geneva13.com

Thu, 10/18/2007 - 1:17pm login or register to post comments

That Rat Nest B...

Posts: 1897
Joined: 2006-08-23
Location: CHICAGOISH

Shitting

Is one of those constants in life. And, for many of us, so is drinking.

Drawing a comparison between the two and evoking a commonality was my intention here.

So,obviously, what followed is art.

Thu, 10/18/2007 - 8:26pm login or register to post comments

Miranda Bastard

Posts: 827
Joined: 2006-08-23
Location: Gun Rule, Michigan

Dude, what is wrong with you all? I have drank (drunk?) every single beer mentioned in this thread in mass quantities and never had the adverse reactions you all are going on about.

Weirdos.

Fri, 10/19/2007 - 8:33am login or register to post comments

KPunk

Posts: 1616
Joined: 2007-03-07
Location: location location

either/or

Either you didn't drink enough, or we are a bunch of wussies in comparison to you.

Chances are, both are true.

www.geneva13.com

Fri, 10/19/2007 - 8:54am login or register to post comments

Costacide

Posts: 414
Joined: 2006-08-22
Location: New York

KPunk wrote:

I need to mention this to my friend's boyfriend, who is apparently a fan.

FFATAH

Fri, 10/19/2007 - 1:18pm login or register to post comments

Dub Emcee

Posts: 32
Joined: 2006-11-19
Location: Illogical

anything made or named after

anything made or named after Milwaukee is a lock for abnormal fecal actions.

O.E. does it too, but Colt 45 is the winner take all...it hardens in your colon like a new york strip and stays there for decades

yee i'm thizzin.

Fri, 10/19/2007 - 6:13pm login or register to post comments

That Rat Nest B...

Posts: 1897
Joined: 2006-08-23
Location: CHICAGOISH

It looks like I need to administer a test to girlfriend, here

Miranda Bastard wrote:

Dude, what is wrong with you all? I have drank (drunk?) every single beer mentioned in this thread in mass quantities and never had the adverse reactions you all are going on about.

Weirdos.

On your 25th birthday drink exactly 4 Newcastles and see what unfolds. Oh, you'll love it.

The product is thick, has texture and rumbles from the noxious depths of your intestines.

This used to be my favorite beer too. :(

Fri, 10/19/2007 - 6:35pm login or register to post comments

steep

Posts: 1131
Joined: 2006-09-18
Location: HONIARA, Solomon Islands

subject field is required

Miranda Bastard wrote:

Dude, what is wrong with you all? I have drank (drunk?) every single beer mentioned in this thread in mass quantities and never had the adverse reactions you all are going on about.

Weirdos.

It gets WAY worse when you get older and the metablolism slows down.

I must say, beer shits is still normally the sign of a pretty heavy night.

http://southernsteve.wordpress.com

Fri, 10/19/2007 - 6:35pm login or register to post comments

That Rat Nest B...

Posts: 1897
Joined: 2006-08-23
Location: CHICAGOISH

It gets worse?!

Wow, at your ripened age, you must unload a whole toilet-full of mud.

I think I need to start building my wine tolerance up.

Fri, 10/19/2007 - 6:40pm login or register to post comments

Miranda Bastard