So are we all broker?

If you have all your money n the bank, you are throwing it away. Might as well set it on fire. You gotta get some of that shit in a slow growing money market account or something. I don't have enough money to invest anymore. When I was younger though, I made a nice amount off the unstoppable growth of Fidelity Magellan. Those were the glory days.

It's gone from about a 5% to a 3% average in the last four months. I don't even trust banks. I am thinking about gold ingots.

I'm investing in tulips.
What could go wrong?

That seems fake.

Brilliantly fake, though.

I am sure it would make my taxes into more of a nightmare though. The fact that I insist on doing my own taxes explains why I will always be poor.

Yeah, capital gains and shit on foreign currency accounts would most likely require elite Algebra 2 skills come April 15th. But aside from very illiquid options trading, it's the only way a brother can make a dime in these tough times.

I got useful work coming out of my ears. I was just giving advice so you could pursue your own bourgeois fantasees. But really shorting the stock market, and the finacial sector's engaging in the risky lending that has resulted in the credit crunch has had the end effect of the Bush administration nationalizing the banks, so you are one step closer to your socialist paradise, comrade.

The contingency plan is called the 2nd Amendment. And it ain't much of one.