How often do you folks keep in touch with your parents?

My parents recently got DSL, a webcam, and a Skype account. Now they want to Skype constantly. It was bad enough when they got e-mail because that didn't replace the mandatory phone calls and letters. It just increased the demand for connectivity and avenues for intrusion. God I friggin' hate technology.

my parents are PUNK.

Talk to them a couple times a week (including usually at least one hour long conversation w/my mother) and see them a couple times a month although they live ~150 miles away. But I love them both like crazy and I'd rather spend time with my family (parents, Ellie & Ben & kids, aunts) than anyone else. We have shared interests and senses of humor and history. I enjoy talking with them and hanging out with my parents. I've pretty much always felt that way though. I remember maybe a short period around junior high when I thought they were the bane of my existence, but other than that I've always liked them.

Dancing baby!

I like Amber's family more that my own! Well, maybe not like them as much, but they're more fun, what with the boozing and smoking and all.

This was me, until I had kids.

Then all of a sudden my chilled, interesting and self-contained parents turned into neurotic help-addicted emotional vampires who couldn't let anything drop, and were always saying:

"Now I was just wondering if..."

and

"So, I just wanted to know how..."

and "I'm not saying you should [insert ultra-traditional thing to do with kids], but..."

It was awful to see my folks, who had always trid to inspire me with left-wing progresive values, suddenly reaching for all the outdated bullshit they had when they were kids. They were more clingy than my kids, a lot of the time.

To make matters MUCH worse they completely lost interest in normal conversation, or basically anything to do with their own lives.

Forget the crying baby and the diapers and the sleepless nights. This was easily the worst part of having kids as far as I'm concerned.

Also I am now of the view that grandparenthood can potentially be one of the most soul-destroying and regressive things that can happen to a person.

I only see or talk to my parents on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and sometimes I'll skip one or the other. But since each of the two holidays requires a delicate negotiation with three distinct parties that refuse to acknowledge the existence of the others, it's more like six times per year on average, or the equivalent of bimonthly. So you're practically a goddamn saint, Greg.

I'll have you know that I was an adorable baby, jerk. My problems didn't start until several days after the warranty expired. Caveat emptor!

I talk to my mom pretty much daily.

My dad about once a week or so.

You are all terrible chirruns!

Hanging out with my family is probably the only time besides hanging out with my little Team Blair that I feel like I belong somewhere

My family is generally overly critical of one another, so the high levels of pettiness seem to throw that keen little concept of family loyalty out the window. It's all cyclical, as it's hard to be truly loyal to individuals who put you on edge. Semblances of loyalty and camaraderie appear sometimes at family functions, but that's just the alcohol.

The general rule is that 75 percent of my family will throw any one of their kin under the bus if it's advantageous to them. Most of the time the "advantage" is just an ego-stroke where they are flexing their ability to have complete dominance over someone, by being able to poke around the bruised parts of this individual's person better than anyone (after all, what's family for). They do this until they ultimately take their metaphorical thumb(s) and mash right into the squishiest part of the bruise. They will only show remorse when their victim is reduced to a puddle of tears and/or doesn't speak to them anymore and/or a new internal character flaw is formed in their victim. What my family is truly lacking is that "given," that I'm assuming is found in most families -- that family members will provide emotional support should a particular family member run into troubles. Instead, that support is generally replaced with a whole bunch of "I told you so's" and "statements of the obvious," where the depressingly obvious facts must be relayed back to the individual in need, just so that particular family member can feel better about him or herself, by getting it off their back.

This is because they are all insecure. Moreso than most people.

The physical result is that family events consist of people who are just shells of their true selves walking around. The shells have been molded over the years to allow for the paths of least resistance. Everything is really old and stale at this point, and seemingly in need of a real meltdown. I really wish I enjoyed being with these people. But I can't understand whether it's I who should be less critical, or them who should be more ... human?

None of this matters anyway because most of my family is likely to die off with my generation. As of right now, all of us have chosen not to spawn and, at 28, I am one of the youngest.

The world will probably be that much more of a positive and livable place with my kin eternally rotting in ditches and forgotten.

We're forever pussies, Josh.

With age, any animosity I'd had towards any of these people has dropped away, and I'm left with painful understanding. Yet, I don't feel comfortable enough to actually express this, as it's likely to be misinterpreted as something other than it is, and used against me.

If I sit there and tell them in what ways they are great, they will view this as smug, ego-stroking pomposity. Or something.

Maybe it is ego-stroking. The question is whether it should matter, if all I want to do is connect with these people on deeper levels than chugging booze and talking about surface-level bullshit before we're all tossed in graves only to render everything inconsequential anyway.