I don't drink any more

I have severely cut back on my drinking this past year, the first time ever I managed to stick with a New Year's resolution.

However, I do find myself with a minor dilemma...my friend is getting married in July. He and I are both of a Greek background with includes, along with an innate ability to bullshit, a proprensity for drunken celebratory hijinks.

My tolerance level is almost nil these days. How the fuck am I gonna be able to get my game back in time? If I pass out before 2 am at the wedding reception, they're all gonna sodomize me on the dance floor. Literally.

I'm delicate, I'd never last more than 2 minutes of sodomization.

No, do the low-tolerance drunken stupor thing, then post the link.

Actually it's been OK the last 4 days.

There is only one bottle of Cragganmore in the country and I'm drinking it. Slowly.