I Couldn't Find My Old Northern Territory Thread

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Driver abuses speed limit and himself
PHOEBE STEWART

July 31st, 2008

A TERRITORY man filmed himself speeding at 150km/h while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard.

His Holden SV6 was allegedly laden with 5kg of drugs, including two cannabis plants resting on the back seat, the court was told.

Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39, was granted bail so he could marry his girlfriend of six months before he goes to jail.

Prosecutor Sergeant Melinda Edwards said in court the father-of-three told police he "had masturbated while driving'' just before he was stopped for speeding on the 130km/h stretch of the Stuart Hwy.

"(He) also video recorded himself masturbating while travelling at a speed of 150km/h.''

Sgt Edwards said Mr Erhardt -- who was disqualified from driving -- also told officers his act was "not dangerous'' as the "only person he could hurt was himself''.

Darwin Magistrates Court heard Mr Erhardt was stopped by NT police 25km south of Daly Waters on July 16 for allegedly speeding at 147km/h on his way home from Adelaide.

Police noticed he was "visibly agitated'', and when they told him they were going to search his Holden sedan, he said "go right ahead'', Sgt Edwards said.

It is alleged that officers found 4.96kg of cannabis hidden in a blue esky in the boot, two cannabis plants on the back seat, two drug pipes and a loaded .22 rifle.

Sgt Edwards said Mr Erhardt was arrested and told officers he had "found'' the drugs at a rest stop 100km north of Coober Pedy -- and he intended to smoke all of it at his Noonamah home.

Mr Erhardt also told police he had used the rifle to shoot "kangaroos from the vehicle whilst driving north''.

The court heard the cannabis was worth $136,000 if sold by the gram in Darwin -- or double that in indigenous communities.

Mr Erhardt applied twice for bail last week so he could get married before going to jail.

Magistrate Greg Cavanagh said it was "fanciful'' Mr Erhardt had "just found'' the drugs and that it looked like a "courier'' run.

He granted Mr Erhardt $10,000 bail, and his father also posted a $8000 surety.

Mr Erhardt will face court again on September 1.

source

PRETENTIOUS EXI...

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this article makes me ashamed

I am sitting inside typing at the internet on a perfectly fine summer day when I could be barrelling across the desert in a car full of drugs while masturbating furiously. I can't shoot kangaroos though.

If he had the SV6 Ute he would have gotten away with it.

Fri, 08/01/2008 - 2:10pm login or register to post comments

KPunk

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-*-

Don't forget to video tape yourself masterbating.

www.geneva13.com

Fri, 08/01/2008 - 2:33pm login or register to post comments

Nora Rocket

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furious

PRETENTIOUS EXISTENTIAL MACHO wrote:

...masturbating furiously.

I totally had a conversation with a group of friends some years ago about the construction "masturbating furiously." It seems so...unfun, to do so in such a way. Though in the end, each of us allowed as how we'd masturbated "furiously" at least once. And that masturbating, like, "tenderly" was dumb sounding, but that masturbating "effectively" was just a stupid thing to talk about. "Efficiently" had the same sort of effect. Unless you guys can come up with better ideas, I vote that we cease the use of all adverbs with "to masturbate."

Also, raise your hand if you have NOT masturbated while driving, srsly. Everyone has, right?

Sat, 08/02/2008 - 6:00pm login or register to post comments

That Rat Nest B...

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Nora, dutifully would work.

It essentially then makes the masturbatory moment one of obligation fulfillment. Each moment requires a different type of self-pleasuring to fit circumstance, current sex drive, purpose etc.

I have honestly never done so driving. Maybe a few rubs here and there over the clothes, but never full-on strokes. I know you all were dying to know this.

Sat, 08/02/2008 - 6:16pm login or register to post comments

stoopidjonny

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What is a territory man?

Crazy is a I googled Territory man and got the same article. Seems that's all they're known for. But now I know it is in Australia.

Sat, 08/02/2008 - 6:16pm login or register to post comments

PRETENTIOUS EXI...

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man do you seriously not remember my old thread

where I was all like, "The Northern Territory is the Arizona of Australia." I guess I am a bigger celebrity in my mind than in reality.

Sat, 08/02/2008 - 6:18pm login or register to post comments

PRETENTIOUS EXI...

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also, 'masturbating furiously'

I always took it connote 'frantically' moreso than 'with great anger.' But I suppose either can work.

Sat, 08/02/2008 - 6:19pm login or register to post comments

That Rat Nest B...

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I suppose a man from the Northwest Territories would also be a territory man.

Sat, 08/02/2008 - 6:20pm login or register to post comments

stoopidjonny

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The thing that doesn't add

The thing that doesn't add up to me is why he did this while he had a lot of drugs in the car and within a short span of time before he was togo to prison. I feel like he must have been trying to make a whole lot of money at one time. Like he had to sell a bunch of drugs and sell porno of himself going really fast in a car masturbating. So he had to do both at the same time because he had to go see a flourist and the caterer for the reception.

Sat, 08/02/2008 - 6:21pm login or register to post comments

PRETENTIOUS EXI...

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the northwest territories

Is it just the Northwest Territory now that they split it in two? Canadians?

Regardless, I like to think of myself as an honorary Territory Man since Arizona was the last territory of the Continental U.S. to be admitted as a State, and then only grudgingly. I mean, New fucking Mexico got into the club first. Like Lee Marvin said, "When the territory becomes a state, it's time for me to be movin' on."

Sat, 08/02/2008 - 6:29pm login or register to post comments

That Rat Nest B...

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One would think that it would always have been, and continue to be, the Northwest Territory, given that it is technically one province regardless of what other provinces have been spawned from it.

But it is, in fact, the Northwest Territories.

Sat, 08/02/2008 - 7:01pm login or register to post comments

steep