When I was growing up, I freakin’ loved milkshakes. Whenever we would go to Burger King near my house, I would get a strawberry milkshake. I always used the straw and would slurp from the edges, where it had started to melt. My favorite bit was at the very end, when the milkshake had melted enough that it was almost completely liquid.
One day when I was in college, my roommate told me he was going to some fast food joint and asked if I wanted anything. I told him to get me a strawberry milkshake. “No fucking way,” he replied. “I’ll get you a milkshake, but it has to be either chocolate or vanilla.” When I asked why he was being such a fascist Johnny Buzzkill, he said “Strawberry milkshakes suck because they don’t even taste like strawberry. You have to either get a chocolate or a vanilla. And really, chocolate is the only flavor that taste decent.” “Whatever, you asshole,” I replied. “Just get me a chocolate one.”
