I miss you cigarettes

by That Rat Nest B... | 09/30/2006

It's 1:30 a.m.(CST) on 9/30/06.

I smoked my last cigarette at about 3 p.m.(CST) on 9/28/06.

I'm now realizing that I can't quit. It's pointless. I mean I don't see how people do this. This is crazy.

I've smoked for just over 10 years.

I "quit" like a year and a half ago, but that only lasted one day. I said I quit for three months because I only smoked 5 cigarettes a day or less during that time period.

But what I've always realized is that there are too many instances in life which call for smoking. Um, I won't even list them all because accomplishing, thinking, doing, and not doing anything in general is accomodated well by smoking. Sit back, inhale and relax.

Cigarettes are AWESOME for thinking. AWESOME. Moreso than usual, my brain feels dulled right now. I mean, I just popped a piece of Nicorette- which I started today- and nothing. It feels like nothing. NOTHING PEOPLE!

I always thought I was more addicted to the nicotine rather than the action. I think that's still true. I'm not sure if that's true. Fuck, does Nicorette have ANY nicotine. 2mg is says...

I mean I realize that smoking, for me, is also an essential crutch which helps me get through many social situations/interations. In this case, I know, it's more the action I'm addicted to than the drug itself.

Without it. Oh god. And if I see someone taking that first rewarding puff, I'm going to DIE (a little more inside). I'll sit there and seem fine but my eyes may glaze over a little more and I may twitch or something.

Obviously the inclusion of alcohol, pot or pills will make this whole quitting notion a bigger sham. These things seemingly make the action and the nicotine itself crucial in any atmosphere. Crucial people. Crucial.

Will I have to quit these things too? How do people live sober? I mean good for them. It's not like I have any crippling addictions, I do drink more than the average person, but there's no way I can quit that too. NO WAY.

Today I did drink. I popped two pieces of Nicorette after my first beer. My mouth felt dirty.

Why quit, Greg? WHY?!

I'm glad you asked.

Well, as only I know, I almost hacked up a lung today. I think I have some fluid in my lungs right now, yet I still want to smoke. I had the flu about two weeks ago and developed a cough afterwards. I continued to smoke heavily. I paid for it.

So I called in sick for work today and slept until 3 p.m. I avoided going out tonight to lessen the need for a smoking situation.

I'm hoping I can type into this thing anytime the urge becomes to great. I'm giving myself less than 48 hours until I ultimately fail.

Yet, I guess it can at least be documented that this was my 2nd attempt to quit smoking.

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necrotizing fasciitis says:

Submitted by necrotizing fas... on Sat, 09/30/2006 - 9:18am.

I feel ya, bro. Hang in there.

if you manage to quit, you

Submitted by Daisy on Sat, 09/30/2006 - 10:33am.

if you manage to quit, you will inspire me, and God knows I need to quit.

good luck, greg.

Submitted by Miranda the Elder on Sat, 09/30/2006 - 10:53am.

you can do it!

Keep trying...

Submitted by Die Romantic on Sat, 09/30/2006 - 1:58pm.

common, keep going, just think - every cigagrette shortens youre life by 8 seconds (apparently),
just use loads of patches and give youre self goals like this month im going to cut down by 5 ciggaretes or something because lets face it we all know that no one can give up just like that..
Good luck

Thanks all

Submitted by That Rat Nest B... on Sat, 09/30/2006 - 11:23pm.

Still haven't smoked.

Ugh.

on october 2nd

Submitted by r.john on Sat, 09/30/2006 - 11:41pm.

I will have been cigarette free for a whole fucking year. And the way I did it?

BLACK JESUS.

For real. White Jesus is out there running around answering a million billion prayers everyday. Chinese, African, American, Russian, all these motherfuckers be imploring white Jesus to do this or save that or help with that, he does not have time nor inclination to help your sad sack ass kick some over the counter drug habit. But Black Jesus? who but a handful of rastas ever pray to him? And half of their prayers are so rambling and distracted and forgotten halfway through because they are all smoked out with the weed, so Black Jesus does not really have to do anything for them. Dude is just sitting up in Black Heaven kicking it with Biggie and Tupac and really doing nothing all day.

So this is what you do. But you got to mean it. Mean it more than anything else you meant today.

Get down on your knees. Put your hands together. and then pray this prayer :

Black Jesus? You listening? Pick up the phone, man, I know you is home. Black Jesus. Help me. Help me stop wanting, craving, thinking about these damn white man's cigarettes. Help me break this filthy habit.

And you know what. He will.
Nigga aint got nothing AT ALL to do today. Or tomorrow.

It worked for me. And will work for you.

I've put in my first prayer

Submitted by That Rat Nest B... on Sun, 10/01/2006 - 12:00am.

And I also prayed for you.

I asked him to make you stop taking your WHITE pills.

Jesus, man, you're drifting into space here. KEEP IT TOGETHER.

With that I'm off to watch that creepy little dancing Indian again.

my girlfriend has explained

Submitted by luciente on Sun, 10/15/2006 - 2:29pm.

my girlfriend has explained to me that she is a smoker. she smokes quite casually in her dreams and can think of fifty or a hundred times a day to smoke. she just doesn't. it's easier now that some time has gone by, i think (about two years.)

please read mykel board's

Submitted by mollyrandom on Thu, 01/25/2007 - 8:30pm.

please read mykel board's article called "three little words" in his book "i a me-ist or the portable board"
this article really helps them smokers like myself

HAHAHA

I miss you cigarettes

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